“Let’s Rename All the Teams”
by Tom Shanahan
Troy Record - November 8, 1995

As the dust clears from Cleveland’s first World Series appearance in more than 40 years, we must face one of the most critical issues confronting baseball. I don’t mean artificial turf, designated hitters, or aluminum bats. I am, of course, talking about Cleveland’s nickname, the “Indians,” and protests by some native-Americans that this demeans their culture.

The importance of this can’t be underestimated. Baseball is a vital part of our national heritage. How can a mighty nation truly lay claim to greatness when an important part of its own heritage is so dismissive of the heritage of others? We have obviously reached a point where doing good is no longer enough, feeling good is what really counts.

Amerigo Vespucci

Never mind that Cleveland, originally named the “Spiders,” took on the Indians title in 1915, when fans voted to honor Louis Sockalexis, a deceased former player who had been a member of the Penobscot tribe. We can’t allow the chill shadow of fact to obscure the fiery rhetoric of emotion. So we enter the off-season knowing that feeling good about our national pastime requires that the Indians change their name. Yet, changing one name can’t undo the years of image abuse that has been inflicted on helpless victims. A total review of baseball’s team names is in order. And, when undertaking such a task it only makes sense to start at the top - with the Yankees. Yes, the Yankees, greatest franchise in the history of

baseball. Any true fan can tell you their record, 33 American League pennants, 22 World Series victories, and still adding to their legacy of excellence. Yet, each time fans take up the chant, “Yankees - Yankees,” hollow echoes of cultural insensitivity ring off the cavernous upper decks which have swallowed so many home runs.

The word Yankee comes from “John Cheese,” the phrase applied by New York’s Dutch settlers to the English who conquered them. Say Yankee, and you conjure up images of arrogant cultural dominance, of a people operating with callous disregard for others. It is that unbridled arrogance that the word “Yankee” represents. Even the team’s informal nickname, “Bronx Bombers,” connotes warlike imperialism. No angry third-world crowd ever threw stones at an embassy gate shouting “Celtics Go Home.”

Therefore, as a public service to the country, the game, and the team that I love, I want to begin the process of reconciliation by offering a more appropriate name for the Yankees. From now on, the once haughty Yankees should be known as the Bronx Multiculturals, a name that reflects the new sensitivities of our society. Of course, this name is probably too long to say in a cheer, so just as the New York Metropolitan Baseball Club is shortened to the Mets, I expect that the Bronx Multiculturals would also be shortened to, say, the “BMs.”

It is a name that perfectly matches the tenor of our times.

Just imagine the excitement of next year’s playoff crowd, filling the House-That-Ruth-Built, with 65,000 fans chanting “BM’s - BMs,” into the chill of a dark October night. The image is enough to make the hallowed monuments behind the center field wall tremble.

Now, what exactly do we mean by Red Socks?